we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just gift wrapped bread.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My breasts were aching with rage.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
