Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
