hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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