Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
