very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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