Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
