Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
