Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
