I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
