haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
