question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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