ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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