dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
