You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Less talking, more tequila
the gays at disneyland are vicious
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I had to cum in my sink.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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