I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
