Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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