Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
