Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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