I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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