omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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