your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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