Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
