K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
