"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
