i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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