"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
zippers are such a cool invention
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
