Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
