I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
