So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
