Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
