Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I could fuck to npr.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
