Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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