He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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