you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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