Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
