Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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