I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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