I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
