its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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