isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
