Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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