ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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