Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
