Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
