So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
