Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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