you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
