Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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