how can u be prego again
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
