@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
