Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
