To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
