You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
